Espérame…

Wait for me…wait for me…wait for me…

I plead, I beg.

I may not be moving at the required speed of most internet blogs/shops, but I promise I am moving in a forward direction.

I’ve got my chopsticks and I am picking up one grain of rice at a time and placing it in my bowl.

The pregnancy really has slowed me down.  For example, I had my usual time to work during nap time yesterday, however, for a moment, I noticed floaters obstructing my vision, which scared me.  I decided to lay down instead.  I am okay with normally plowing through fatigue, but the degree which you can “push the limits” shifts drastically during pregnancy.

I also like to blame my toddler a lot.  It really isn’t fair how little sleep she needs.  Last night she was asleep around 8pm, woke up around 1:45AM, and then the ty-runt was up again ready to start the day at 5:30!  She was in a charming mood all morning, and will probably only nap for an hour and fifteen minutes this afternoon.  She JUST turned TWO, mind you.  *grrr* They say that this a sign of intelligence, but I have been praying relentlessly that baby #2 is a cuddly, sleepy little thing (Another reason why I agreed to naming him “Teddy.”  I want him to be a snuggly little bear of a baby).

Other news on the home front:

I feel like the last six months have been a waiting game; it has really put a perspective on what I choose to be anxious about. I worried a lot about the Down Syndrome testing, but when we had to take the Cystic Fibrosis test (both of which turned out negative), I didn’t let the thoughts take over my brain. My husband lost his job in October, but then he found three other jobs to hold us over for the last few months.

So now, we wait again:

We are still looking for a new job, and there are potentials on the horizon, but it seems like they make you wait until you are about ready to scream and stomp and shout and yell profanities about how horrible their company is, etc., etc.  I don’t even care, I just want him to have the job! Aghgh!  *sorry, this is still a little fresh*

We also are planning on moving to a larger space in the next month or so, and obviously, the additional income would be extremely helpful.

And then of course, we wait, I wait, for this squirming thing inside me to finish growing, so I can at least reclaim part of my internal organs.

I really don’t like the “waiting” feeling, and I am trying realllllly hard to appreciate the present, but sometimes it is difficult.

Anyways, thanks for listening.  If you ever need to get something off of your shoulders, I am all ears (maybe distracted and overtired ears, but ones that can hear nonetheless).