I am writing this from my iPhone up in my bedroom, having just put the monkey to sleep. This week has been physically and emotionally exhausting. Even the weather groaned in complaint about this week. For those of you outside of San Diego, the weather has been abominable. High heat, blaring sun coupled with humidity reminiscent of the East coast. Thunderheads would roll in, pregnant with rain, making the air even heavier than before, but instead of breaking open and cutting the heat and quenching the thirst of brittle branches, they would just slowly move past, leaving the hopeful a bit disgruntled. And that is pretty close to how I’ve felt this week. Normally I relish when my mood and emotions are in line with the weather, but I’d say my malaise was aggravated by the weather, and I did not appreciate it one bit.
Why am I disgruntled?
1) it’s hot
2) This company my husband applied to for a job keeps dangling carrots and then disappearing, making me hopeful and then frustrated.
3) did I say it is freaking hot?
4) Madelyne has officially amped up her terrible twos, with increased night wakings, the breaking of multiple glass objects, the tipping of paint buckets, I could go on…
5) I’m about to share a new print line, which is scary and exciting and part of me wants to hide instead of appropriately market my product like all the websites say I should.
But in all this, I do see the silver linings. I see the promise of my husband finding a better job, of us being able to move out of our cramped sleeping quarters. And parts of the terrible twos I really love. The curiosity of children! My daughter decided she wanted to eat her yogurt with the bottom of her sippy cup! Who thinks of that? And I am excited about my shop! I’ve put so many hours and developed daydreams into an idea and I am proud of doing something with all those dreams.
So, even though it is still so hot I imagine moving to Maine and living in the cold, cold, cold of winter I recognize the silver linings in front me. In this moment.